Thoughts from the Jewellery Quarter
Advice & Inspiration
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How to be Seen and Celebrated
Spoiler alert. I’m a gay bloke. I went through hundreds of wedding photography sites before I got married. It’s stressful, isn’t it! Especially so if you’re planning a same sex wedding. It often just feels different somehow.
Because of the unique journey LGBTQ+ couples go on as they define their partnership, planning a same sex or queer wedding is often a beautiful act of defiance, joy, and love. But let’s be honest – it can also come with a few extra hurdles. From navigating outdated traditions or expectations, to finding vendors who truly get you, every choice matters. And when it comes to photography – and the person that’ll be with you and your chosen family all day? That’s one of the biggest decisions to make.
So, having done it myself, and having talked to many of my own same sex couples, here’s some advice.
1. Look for LGBTQ+ Inclusivity (Not Just Tolerance)
It’s the “Love Is Love” thing. Yeah, I’ve seen it on a few websites. It’s not enough for a photographer to say they’re “happy to shoot any wedding.” You deserve someone who actively celebrates and takes joy in being around the LGBTQ+ community, and all its forms. That means:
- Using inclusive language (no assumptions about “bride and groom”)
- Asking for pronouns and respecting identities
- Featuring diverse couples in their portfolio
- Advocating for LGBTQ+ rights and visibility
Check their website, social media, and reviews. Do you see yourself reflected? Do they speak your language – not just literally, but emotionally?
2. Style Matters – But So Does Vibe
Sure, you want gorgeous photos. But you also want to feel comfortable in front of the lens. Look for a photographer whose style matches your vision—whether that’s candid storytelling, editorial drama, or geeky whimsy.
Then go deeper. Ask yourself:
- Do they seem like someone you’d enjoy spending the day with?
- Are they warm, funny, and down-to-earth?
- Do they understand the dynamics of queer relationships and chosen families?
- Could your mates be themselves around them, so every smile and laugh in your photos is natural?
Your photographer should feel like a trusted friend—not a stranger with a checklist.
3. Ask the Right Questions
When you’re interviewing potential photographers, don’t be afraid to get specific – especially when identity is important to your friends and family. Here are some questions that can help:
- Have you done many same sex weddings?
- We’ve many non-binary friends. Are you comfortable using non-traditional pronouns?
- Can you share examples of how you’ve handled non-traditional wedding structures?
- We’re not used to posing as a same-sex couple. How have you approached this before?
- Are you used to working with drag queens or other performance artists?
Their answers will tell you a lot – not just about their experience, but about their values.
4. Read Between the Lines (and the Testimonials)
Testimonials are gold. Look for reviews from other queer couples. Do they mention feeling affirmed, relaxed, and joyful? Do they talk about how the photographer handled sensitive moments or family dynamics?
Also, pay attention to what’s not said. If every review is from a cis-het couple, that’s a red flag. You want someone whose portfolio and praise reflect the full spectrum of love.
5. Safety and Sensitivity Are Non-Negotiable
Queer weddings can involve complex emotions – especially if family acceptance is a concern. Your photographer should be someone who:
- Knows how to navigate delicate situations with empathy
- Respects boundaries around who is photographed and how
- Is prepared to advocate for you if needed
This isn’t just about professionalism – it’s about allyship. You deserve someone who’ll protect your joy.
6. Representation Matters – Behind and In Front of the Lens
Choosing a queer photographer (or one deeply embedded in the community) can make a world of difference. They’ll understand the nuances, the shorthand, the sparkle. They’ll know how to capture your love without forcing it into a heteronormative mold.
But even if your photographer isn’t queer, they should be actively committed to representation. That means ongoing education, inclusive practices, and a portfolio that reflects real diversity—not tokenism.
7. Trust Your Gut (and Your Glitter)
At the end of the day, this is your love story. You get to decide who tells it. If someone makes you feel seen, celebrated, and excited? That’s your person.
If something feels off – even if they’re technically perfect? Keep looking.
Your wedding is a declaration of who you are. Your photographer should be part of that celebration, not just a witness to it. 
Bonus Tips for Queer Couples Choosing a Photographer
- Look for flexibility: Queer weddings often break tradition. Your photographer should embrace that, not resist it.
- Ask about editing style: Do they enhance natural tones, celebrate skin diversity, and avoid over-filtering?
- Consider a pre-wedding shoot: I call these my ‘practice runs’. it’s a brilliant way to get rid of the camera-shy nerves, build trust and get comfy before the big day.
- Check contracts: Make sure they include inclusive language and clear boundaries.
- Follow your joy: If their work makes you smile, laugh, or tear up? That’s a good sign.
Final Thoughts
Choosing a photographer for your wedding isn’t just about pretty pictures. It’s about finding someone who honours your love, your identity, and your story. Someone who’ll capture the quiet glances, the loud laughter, and the moment when your nan dances to RuPaul and Kylie.
So take your time. Ask questions. Trust your instincts. And remember – you’re Awesome People, and this is a celebration of the couple you’re meant to be.
Think I might tick some of these boxes? I’m a Birmingham Photographer but travel nationwide for my favourite people. If you want a quick chat over zoom, or a cup of tea or a pint in the Jewellery Quarter, get in touch below. Check out my related video over at Youtube, if you want to see me be bullied by my cat.
